palabras y mas palabras

there is so much i always want to write but the moment the chance comes im stumped again. never know what to write, the music makes me feel okay and less nervous. i forget that there are no rules to this. i am free here to make it how i like. man there feels like so much that i miss, but im not sure what. and now and everyday forward i will have him in my head saying to not be scared of anything. not a bad thing. a reminder... i know where i am in this moment and i know i wont forget, the music makes me want to be in the passenger seat with my hair blowing windows down with everything ahead and nothing behind. in a car. free as can be. i wanna feel every emotion. where you have lost your stomach and where you capture a new sense of mind. i never wanted to say that i was running, but yeah ive been in fear. ive been in fear for a while, of just stuff. i dont know how to explain this to anyone who doesnt get my mind. i wanna be in other elements feeling other things. with music. loud as can be.. ugh this makes no sense i feel no better...