Sweet disposition

Recapping a week full of a new start, and my stomach is feeling
like ive got a flu. My spirits are high and theres a lot on my mind as
usual but tonight in a positive aspect... Not like i have any answers
but im content. Ive thought about love a lot this week but i cant seem
to remember what triggered the thought.. Something about
climbing mountains and doing anything to be with someone you
love. Ive never told anyone how deep the fear i have of being alone
is. I think it happened sometime around the time i was 5 something
with my mom.. But ive been thinking about it. A slight head rush, im
learning to cherish my days... Doing all the things i wanna do for
myself. A work in progress, a sought after affection, i sleep tonight
with no direction.

Ill be looking at the sky
- i heard its suppose to rain tomorrow

purple rain

ive had a pretty good day so far.
got outside and soaked up the grey.
now eyes red as can be,
i wander away to melancholy.
my dream state, the one that lets me be...
im content and im feeling green.
i fell in love with this picture of the horse.

Ive got this song in my head real bad its called laid
by james. "ahhhh this bed is on fire with passion and love
the neighbors complain about the noises above..."

i burned my finger real bad today and it stings still.
My eyes feel like pillows sink right into them..

tuesday

Missels

I couldnt stop thinking last night of how that
shoe was suppose to hit me.

Pinche nariz

Cant breathe outta my nose im sick and congested
and i want vapor rub...
Its freezing here at night i cant stop sneezing
imafreegenmess

en la noche

im sleeping
eyes so tight, while your hand writes and writes
i wanna drift and float away, i wanna run and not ever run out of breath.
flowers bloom in my mind, awaiting the dawning of a new day..
lost in the lost..

its been 3 years today since my grandpa died
i know youre out there somewhere fishing and having a cocktail
i missyou

how far does the pedal fall

opening aspirations
completely tongue tied. im living in a daze right now.
so i got lost in a new book
100 years of solitude. sometimes i forget all about reading but
sometimes i feel like it makes me stop thinking.
i like to get lost. i like to get found, where is that happy
medium?
so much seemed clear tonight. and last night.
my skin feels like its burning, and ive got pains all over.
my nose is frozen and it might just fall off.
i painted all night yesterday. it felt amazing, but i dont care too much
for the result...
im laying here in complete silence, thinking of how the scariest thing
happened to me tonight. i cant stop shaking. my hands, my fingers.
i feel like i took bad drugs.
now im watching a curious cat lick his privates.
:)

im feeling like a really determined student this coming semester
i wanna give it my all, and i should, but i know me.
i know how caught up in life i get sometimes..

its my world, its where i go.
its my little place. i usually go there alone.
i was thinking a lot today, like most days
but when i walk, and moments i really stop to realize im living in
make me really wanna watch my movie from the beginning.
the one ive recorded everyday.

ive been really wanting to scrapbook my life.
cause you can be anywhere when youre life begins.
and i believe there is a beauty in all my imperfections,
i wanna reassemble, cause im in this life, and im in deep.

nosound

i believe, believe in a rush
a feeling, a sound. one so incredible, so overwhelming..
i believe in LOVe.
all i can think of is what i want, what i have
and what i would strive for.
that feeling of once youre found there is nothing more to look for
my head feels so swollen, i think i could puke.
i dream of being lost.
and i feel like the elephant in the room

blahg

war is just history repeating itself.
ahh i feel like blahhhging.

think think think
drink drink drink drink.
and smoke some more.
insomnia, i cant sleep
i cant keep my eyes closed.
its really happening.
its all really happening

perfecto

ever met the perfect human being?
ever seen anything that was perfect?

i never wanna get too old.
i wanna do everything still.

EVERYTHING

waterworld

go along and waste away with me.
the time is now, i cant explain how disgusting i feel.
inside, outside.
i havent been sleeping well, then again i feel like i always write that..
its my back its my shoulders, its my head more than anything.
i wanna eat again and again.
because i have no motivation to go outside.
i notice im happier when im outside, i also notice
im alone inside a lot too.
sometimes i find a lot of comfort in it, i am free to paint, to draw,
to release.
and play some good records.
i wish i was high out of my mind, on a rooftop somewhere
gazing out at the stars. i can see it so clearly in my head.
its like a dark endless backdrop thats real.
like an ocean above. i would like to live underwater like ariel.
i would have an underwater elefant as my friend.
i think i would give it wings though.

a new year. without a new beginning.
life is exactly the same, another saturday
alone with some words. :)
i never liked change too much.
and right now i wish i could listen to my
mamas voice. today i opened the new testament
just to see what was inside, then i found myself reading it.
looking for guidance mostly.
i have no motivation, and i have no guidance.
but i guess only i know how bad i wanna get on
my bike and ride and ride.
i see that rather clearly in my head to.
for now im writing everything that is coming to mind.
i hear it helps... i wish i was dancing also.
to a playlist of my favorite songs.
i wanna get fucked up.
and sit alone in my room with the yeah yeah yeahs, some art,
and champagne like i did when i was 17.
things that free seem far away right now.
i remember when every saturday use to get counted.
wonder how many it would have been if the count never
ended?
i guess right now its sunday.
sundays remind me of the sun.
night time reminds me of the right time.
goodnite

highways

lets waste time,
chasing cars...