from the bed

the bed that i lay all alone in.
not willing to make it work
not trying to make it worse.
i cant try to not feel what i do
when its inside my heart.
the hurt is there, the sadness doesnt subside.
and you stay in your silent place and
think about how its all my fault.
just because you dont do anything
doesnt mean i should be happy.
i feel like i may be awake doing this all night.
silently crying on the side.
i love him with all the fibers in me.
and his eyes are slowly closing.
im drowning.